I’ll never have to say
I never got the chance to
Because I did.
And I grabbed it
Every moment you were here,
Whispering to your heart
And to your soul,
With kisses and cuddles
And so much more
That was just …improvised.
Often without words,
Just a glance
At any part of you.
Daily. Still.
I came across
Some photos that were missed
And doubtful if I leave them
You’ll thank me later.
There is no mercy in this war
And since that final blow
The shirts are a little bit tighter,
Aren’t they? Just at the sides.
All is well. Although
The end spelt disaster
Across many things,
That relentless gratitude –
That stayed, as always.
What blessing to have had
A good friend.
And bring you out into the sun
On this cold and crisp morning
When you’re not at your best.
Let me join you
Within this hollow space
Charred by flames passed.
Let me add the sticks and paper
And ignite your depths again
So that when you’re ready
You can bring all of you
Back into our world,
Where you belong.
Look
I know you’re tired
From slaying it all day
And you’re probably done
For now, at least.
So rest. I’m proud of you.
As for the things left
On that relentless to-do list,
If the world ends next week
Why bother with any of them;
And if it doesn’t, well,
You have all the time
In the world.
OK, bye x
Stretch yourself to the stars
And never mind how tall.
Expand further than before.
Expose fear for what it is
And warn others against it.
Show them your scars.
Be the one to demand more
And demand better for all of us
Who shoulda woulda couldn’t.
There are so many reasons
To rid my life of all bitterness
And enjoy a sweet treat.
I want to feast on joy
And give myself a chance;
Swap grapefruits with grapes.
There are so many places
To be fully naked in,
So many lips to taste
And colours to delight in,
So many body parts
And naughty thoughts
To ravish and enjoy.
So much space and
Closeness to swim in,
So much care and
So much abundance
To savour and enjoy.
So much warmth and
Heaps of variety
That can make me
Plump and giddy.
Plates over plates of
The deepest chats
To have my fill.
There is so much beauty
Everywhere.
Some home essentials can hold a great deal of magic
When you set up a new place to call your home.
* Some ribbon and paper for boxes to be wrapped
* Many pins and clips to hang photos on walls
* Card and colourful crayons to write thank you notes
* More than one large vase for tall flowers and filler
(Don’t wait to receive them first. You will soon)
* Soft handkerchiefs for teary eyes and runny noses
* Plenty of scented things like candles and incense sticks
* White things like linen and plenty of white towels too
* Down pillows and two extra for sleepy weekend guests
* Warm and cozy blankets for TV dinners and nights in
* A microwave for popcorn, leftovers (and readymeals)
* A kettle for teas, coffees and hot water bottles
* Thick blackout curtains for sleeping in at the weekend
* Extra mugs, glasses and plates in odd shapes and colours
* Plants small and tall to look after and watch grow
* A sturdy desk where dreams can come to life
* Cookie jars, dream catchers and at least two fans
* A comfy sofa for all kinds of evenings together
* Slippers, tea towels and salt and pepper shakers
* Board games and playing cards and cushions
* And one last thing that is the one thing just for you.
Here I lie
To kiss a bumblebee
By means of the flower
Laid in the soil of my waste.
Here I go
To the land that fed me,
Embracing my kin
Who called me back to them.
Here I live
To be watered by the rain,
Massaged and turned by roots
And pressed by youthful feet.
Here I am
Alive in buzzing, crawling life;
Surrendering to exquisite change
So I may bloom again.
I lost the steady sadness
Which used to fill these rooms
And it’s tracks along with yours.
Or have I?
I lost interest in the chimes
That used to draw you to them
Or perhaps I grew weary
Of their empty promises.
I lost the home where you dreamt,
Where the growing was slow
And the plan was hatched
To simply get lost on the way back.
I lost the connection to a country,
The many things it denied us
And the isolation and shame
That used to feel normal.
Yet here I am, thinking of you
And how much was lost
For all the good that was gained
In your struggle to find me.
You, force of nature, you.
How you did so much so well
In spite of all the ebbs and flows.
I see you. I remember.
